ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize