Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize