Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
