people are starting to question the shark bite story
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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