i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize