Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
