did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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