He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
