I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
