I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
