I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
