is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I need to calm my uterus...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize