trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
