I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
