I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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