i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
