question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
why do cheetos always look like penises
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
