The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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