We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
