I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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