Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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