I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
