Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
