The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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