Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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