was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
