i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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