ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
