I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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