Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think your dad took our porno
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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