sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
