Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
