today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
