Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
