Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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