I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
