Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
