so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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