i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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