Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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