ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
