I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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