You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
