My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
