wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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