You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
