No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
