I hate all girls vehemently.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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