Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
