Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
