whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
