Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize