It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize