She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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