You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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