i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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