i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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