why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
why is half of my head shaved?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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