I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
