He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
