you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize