Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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