Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
