Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
please come you make the beer taste better
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
