So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The best revenge is premature balding
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
