If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
