singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
