Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
